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Journey From Judging to Embracing Part 2- From Forgiveness to Acceptance

1/12/2019

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Picture
Life-ful Place

I find I want to kill what I am afraid to embrace
whether it be spiders, roaches or male sexuality

Now I am called to see them not as monsters -
but as Love with a new face

This thought, once impossible, is now but improbable -
that everything contained in life has a life-ful place

Welcome to Journey from Judging to Embracing Part 2 - From Forgiveness to Acceptance.

In my Journey From Judging to Embracing Part 1 blog, we explored how the first three lines of this poem describe my transition from hatred to forgiveness, from core energy level 2 to level 3 on the Energetic Self Perception Chart.,

It was a limited forgiveness. I let go of the judgment that they are monsters.I forgave them for being what they are. I rationalized that they were just made that way.

My higher power called for more still. Let's look at the fourth line.

but as love with a new face

Let me give you the context of this line.

When I lost my cats, Remus and Romulus, who had been with me for over 17 years, I was devastated. I couldn't imagine even having, much less loving other cats. I also felt I would be betraying my love for them if I loved other cats. But when they passed, I could not bare the emptiness of my home without cats because I have so much love to give, so I brought home Punch and Michaelangelo. (No, I did not misspell Michaelangelo - that's his name)

It was a rough transition. All I wanted from Punch and Michaelangelo was for them to be like Remus and Romulus so they could fill the hole in my heart. I grieved for Remus and Romulus every day, which I expected, but I also unexpectedly grew to love Punch and Michaelangelo for who they are.

One day I had an epiphany. I realized the love Punch and Michaelangelo gave me was the same love Remus and Romulus gave me. It was the universal Love I'd seen in the faces of all the cats I've ever had, my family, my friends, and every homeless person who smiles at me. Punch and Michaelangelo were Love with new faces.  

I realized then that Love would always come to me with a new face when one passed from my life.

So, back to the poem:

Now I am called to see them not as monsters,
but as Love with a new face


Could spiders, cockroaches and male sexuality be love with new faces?

To answer that question, I have to take into account a very important distinction.

Insects do not choose - they act instinctively. 

Men choose how to use their sexuality. My father did not hurt me because he was compelled by his sexuality. He chose to hurt me because he is a predator.

I have to ask my self, "Is it possible then, that male sexuality could be the face of Love?" Based on what I have learned from men friends who love their wives and partners, my answer is yes.

 
Think about the faces of love in your life.

Are they faces of the universal Love?

Now think about the faces that have hurt you.

Did a person hurt you by choice?

With what aspect of themselves did they hurt you?

Are you open to the possibility that the same aspect could be the face of Love on a different person?


After you answer these questions, turn your attention to the end of the poem.

This thought, once impossible, has become but improbable - 
that everything contained in life has a life-ful place


This shift in thinking was a major milestone on my journey from judging to embracing.

I've gone from thinking that what I fear to embrace is at best not a monster to acknowledging the possibility that everything in life, even what I fear, has a place - a life-ful place.


Here are some questions to help you make this journey.

What things or people in life do you think just shouldn't be?

What do you feel when you think this?

What do you do when you feel this way?

What do you think would happen if you thought and felt differently about it?

What would that do for you?

What would be a different powerful belief for you (whether you believe it now or not)?

Imagine this powerful new belief is true. How would that feel?

What would you do with this new feeling? Would you act differently? How?

Based on this new thought and feeling, what are you willing to do this week to take a step on your journey from judging to embracing?


Need an example? Take a look at my answers.

What things or people in life do you think just shouldn't be?
Spiders, roaches and male sexuality

What do you feel when you think this?
Angry

What do you do when you feel this way?
Lash out

What do you think would happen if you thought and felt differently about it?
I would not see them as threats.

What would that do for you?
Relieve my anxiety about them.

What would be a different powerful belief for you (whether you believe it now or not)?
Spiders: I do not see them as faces of Love because they are not capable of love. I could however considered that they might have the right to life.

Roaches: They also are not capable of love, and I still consider them vile detestable creatures I intend to kill if they cross my path inside. I could consider that they serve a purpose in the animal kingdom and therefore have the right to live outside.

Male sexuality: I could consider that It can be the face of Love when worn by men who choose to love.


Imagine this powerful new belief is true. How would that feel?
Peaceful

What would you do with this new feeling? Would you act differently? How?
Spiders: Allow a spider or two (very small ones) to live when they crossed my path.

Roaches: Not kill those I see outside

Male sexuality: Be open to the possibility of a safe experience

Based on this new thought and feeling, what are you willing to do this week to take a step on your journey from judging to embracing?
Spiders: Nothing

Roaches: Nothing

Male sexuality: Talk to a woman who was traumatized by male sexuality but has a safe experience now.

As you can see, I am still a work in progress.

I hope that sharing my journey from judging to embracing has inspired you to embark on your own.

If you would like a partner on your journey, I can help.

Schedule a complimentary session with me today!

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    Joyce Collins is a life coach who specializes in helping women who were sexually abused as a child to transform themselves into confident women who love themselves and lead fulfilling lives.

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