Journey to Self-Esteem Part One - Mirror Mirror On The Wall

We walk the fence of self-esteem
but never leaping there
It's all we can do to keep our feet on the beam,
avoid the shadow's lair

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Welcome to part one of Journey to Self -Esteem - Mirror Mirror On the Wall.

In each part of this inspiration, I will address one of the many aspects that affect self-esteem.

First I'll explain the untitled poem.

Have you heard the saying, "I'm on the fence about this?"

Being on the fence refers to choosing not to take a side or stance on an issue or opinion. Getting off the fence would require literally standing on the ground on one side of the fence.  Figuratively speaking it means to take a stand by expressing an opinion of support for one of two opposite beliefs.

Let's take a look at the first line of the poem.

We walk the fence of self-esteem

To walk the fence of self-esteem is to be non-committal about our self-worth.
If we're on the fence, we don't feel bad about ourselves self but we don't feel good about ourselves either.

Let's take a look at the second line of the poem.

Our faces toward the sun, but never leaping there

Have you heard the admonition "Look where you're going!" from someone you've bumped into accidentally because you were looking somewhere other than the direction you were moving. 

Likewise, it necessary to look where we want to go in order to set off on the journey to get there.

In the poem, "pointing our faces toward the sun" means setting our intention to take the journey toward high self-esteem. To leap there is an expression of enthusiasm and commitment to the journey. To never leap there, to continue to walk the fence, is to enslave  ourselves to the world of "yes, but...

Let's take a look at the next line of the poem.

It's all we can do to keep our feet on the beam

A therapist once told me that people usually seek therapy because they are in pain. On a scale of 1 to 10 where 1 is the most pain imaginable and 10 is happy, many people stay in therapy until they reach a 5 and then quit because they're feeling better. They see the goal of reaching a 10 as either impossible or unnecessary.

"The beam" is the top rail of the fence of self-esteem, and to keep our feet on the beam is to settle for a 5 out of 10.

Let's look at the last line of the poem.

Avoid the shadow's lair.

The shadow's lair is that dark place where painful feelings reside unexamined by the light. I am speaking of feelings such as worthlessness, shame, guilt, incompetence, or insignificance.
Please add any I haven't listed that come from your experience. 

If your self-esteem in the 1 to 4 range, you are in the shadow's lair.


Whether you are in the shadow's lair, on the fence with your face toward the sun, or leaping there, I can help you on your journey.

Read on!

Part 1 - Mirror Mirror On the Wall is about the effect of body image on self- esteem. 

I'm not going to tell you foundation principles as I usually do. Rather, I'm going to ask you some very personal questions. 

Of course, I do not expect you to tell me the answers, but I encourage you to answer them for yourself.

Imagine you are by yourself wearing clothes of your choice as you answer the following questions:

When you look at yourself in a mirror, what are you looking for? In other words, what do you want to know that you can find out only by looking in a mirror?

What do you look at first?

Why?

What do you look at last?

Why?

What part of yourself do you rarely or never look at?

Why?

On a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is terrible and 10 is awesome, how do you feel about yourself after you look in the mirror?

How, if at all, how has your feeling about yourself changed from before you looked in the mirror to afterward?

Why?


Now Imagine you are by yourself with nothing on as you answer the following questions:

When you look at yourself in a mirror, what are you looking for? In other words, what do you want to know that you can only find out by looking in a mirror?

What do you look at first?

Why?

What do you look at last?

Why?

What part of yourself do you rarely or never look at?

Why?

On a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is terrible and 10 is awesome, how do you feel about yourself after you look in the mirror?


How, if at all, how has your feeling about yourself changed from before you looked in the mirror to afterward?

Why?

If your answer to either or both of the 1 to 10 scale questions (with and without clothes) was less than 10, what would it take to move that rating one or two numbers up the scale?

This is the first question I would ask as your coach? 

Are you ready to take this journey?  Write to me!

​Want to continue on the journey? Read Part 2 - Self-Discrimination

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