I Sought I sought friends Friends surround me I sought relationship Relationship found me I sought love Love becomes me Everyone knows that you must buy at least one ticket to win the lottery, but I have heard many people who never buy tickets tell me what they would do if they won.
Personally, I don't buy lottery tickets because I don't see them as a good investment. I would rather purchase a certainty in the now than a chance in the future. However, there is value in the concept of taking action to bring your dreams into reality. For some, buying a ticket means investing money, for others investing time and effort. Sometimes buying a ticket is as simple as accepting an unexpected opportunity. The most challenging (and rewarding) means is to summon up the courage to disregard the message in your head that says what you want is just not gonna happen. I'll give you examples from recent events in my life. I sought friends Outside my family, I have one friend with whom I spend time regularly. As much as I enjoy her company, I have wanted more friends in my life for some time. When I was working in the corporate world, I developed friendships with coworkers that I wanted to grow beyond the limits of the work day. When I suggested this to my friends, they were too busy to fit time into their schedule, or they expressed interest in the idea, but would not commit to setting a time and place, I have a similar situation at my gym, where I have a wonderful community of friends. Our time together is limited to coincidences of being at the gym at the same time. I asked if they would be interested in getting together outside the gym, but I had no takers. I was frustrated because I didn't know what else to try. Recently, I went to a party where I did not know any other guests. When I asked if I could join a group of guests who were talking animatedly with each other, one of them said yes. I did not see a natural opportunity to join the conversation, so I sat quietly. When a husband and wife couple started collecting their cups and plates, the usual signs of getting ready to leave, I felt disappointed that I had not met them. I felt I was missing an opportunity to possibly meet new friends. They had not spoken to me, and I was hesitant to speak to them because I was thinking something that I often think in similar situations, which is that people who have not talked to me do not want to talk to me. However, I decided to take a chance by introducing myself. I am so glad I did because we had an enjoyable conversation in which we discovered that we had much in common. By the end of the day, I was friends with them on Facebook and invited the wife to get together for lunch. We are having lunch together next weekend! I then introduced myself to other guest at the table who turned out to be relatives of the host of the party. I had a great conversation with them too. This experience built my confidence, so I introduce myself to other guests, to see what other doors of opportunity would open. I met a woman who turned out to be a docent at two local museums. When I told her a friend and I were planning to go to one of these museums this week, she offered to show us around. I took her up on this offer, and the three of us had a wonderful time! We made plans to meet again at the other museum where my friend is a docent. I bought my ticket, I took a chance, and I won! I sought friends, Friends surround me The investment I made was three fold:
I sought relationship As I said earlier, I had reached out to friends at the gym to extend our friendship beyond the gym with no success. Although there were gym community events like happy hour at a bar or a tattoo party, but I didn't feel comfortable in these atmospheres, so I didn't go. I had given up on this endeavor, when I happened to ask one of my gym friends if he had eaten at any of the organic restaurants in town. I had found some online and wondered if he had an opinion on them. He said he didn't know there were any, so I told him the name of one. I got a wonderful surprise! He said he loved that place, and asked if I'd like to go there with him. I accepted, of course! I had lunch with him and his wife, another wonderful gym friend, at the restaurant. We had a great time and are going to other restaurants in the future. I am excited to develop these friendships into relationships beyond the physical space of the gym. I sought relationship Relationship found me I bought my ticket, which was simply to accept the unexpected invitation. I sought love Something else I wanted more of in my life is opportunities to love and be loved. As you may know, I have homeless friends to whom I give money. I wanted to reach them in more ways, so I started bringing them food and hygiene supplies. I sat with them and listened to their stories and their struggles. I made new friends and strengthened existing friendships. I learned that one of my friends was in jail for three months. I wanted to send him something meaningful other than money, so I sent my poem "Touched," in which I mention him by name. You can read this poem in my blog, Choose Who You Want To Be . This was of course the opportunity to love more that I was seeking, but I also received love that I was not expecting. On separate occasions, I ran into two homeless friends I had not seen in months. I was very happy to see them and told them so. They said they were happy to see me too, and much to my surprise, said they had been worried about me because they hadn't seen me for so long. They were worried about me! They, who live day-to-day, hand-to-mouth, were worried about me! I want to reiterate that I ran into these homeless friends, who do not know each other, on separate occasions and separate locations. I am honored by and cherish this unexpected love. I bought my ticket - I loved. I sought love, Love becomes me What dreams you have for your life? What are you willing to invest to bring them into reality? Buy your ticket! As always, I would love to hear your thoughts! |
AuthorJoyce Collins is a life coach who specializes in helping women who were sexually abused as a child to transform themselves into confident women who love themselves and lead fulfilling lives. Archives
December 2019
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